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Extra...big...monkey!
If you give a cow a crewcut
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giant cow

If you give a cow a crewcut, he'll probably ask for a diamond stud to go with it.

big cow

You'll have to break open your piggybank to buy one. When you do, one of the pieces of porcelain will hit him in the leg, and he'll start bleeding.

poor cow

He'll ask for a band-aid, and when he looks in the medicine cabinet, he'll see aspirin and think its candy. He'll take so many that they'll knock him out, and you'll have to splash a bucket of water on him to wake him up. The water will remind him of his cruise in the Bahamas last summer, and you'll have to help him build a boat. He'll finish the boat when he'll realize he doesn't have anywhere to sail it, so, you'll have to dig him a lake. You'll have to rent him a loader truck, and seeing the truck will remind him of his days in the army. He'll ask for an army uniform, and chances are, if he askes for an army uniform, he'll want a crewcut to go with it.