18: chocolate.

19: this just in: he wishes he were a ninja with a banjo on his knee.

20: He's a ladies man.

21:hahaa...

22:he's a three-timer!

23: he's magically delicious!

24: oH-WEE-OH...NABISC-o...(repeat)

25: if you think this is lame, phone: 1-800-555-EAT POOPOO.

26: excuse my language.

27: if you are under seven years of age, you never saw that.

28: go kiss a kosher today.

29: Got Jew?

30: "a couch is a wonderful thing"

31: i agree.

32: unless it's one of those really hard ones.

33: MY couch is a wonderful thing...

34: (james bond music here)the name's tim...Tim tim...

35: ha

36: don't mind him. he has cranky pants.

37: it has been recently discovered that tim is a Becky Magnet

38:No kidding. Two so far.

39: who knows what kind of devastaing effect this would have if he stumbled across...BECKYVILLE!

40-47:(GHHHAAAASP!)

48: he knits scarves for fun

49:no kidding. with multi-color stripeys.

50: he is not, and will never be, a ninja

51: Well, that would depend on your definition of a 'ninja'

52: if a ninja is someone who knits and yodels, then tim is a ninja

53: He keeps telling me he's a retard ninja.

54: A retard ninja, tim?

55:oh, retired.

56:and you're 94, too, right?

57:Wrong.

58:you are 15, and yo momma can prove it.

59: get this:BIRTH CERTIFICATES.

60: Oh, you made them up, to fool the enemy and nosy people like us?

61: yeah, right.

62:Well, if you are 94, WHERE ARE THE WRINKLES?!?!?

63:Oh, yeah, lemme guess. you drank an age altering potion. blah-blah-blah

64: He has a brother named Tyler...(hey look, a true fact!)