"Look at that little Asian man!...oh wait...That's a woman..."
"I can tie that tie for you, but you'd have to lay down."
-Bill(a funeral home director)
"First rum, and now wine? Man, they're gettin' loaded!"
-Joan "Nana" Fernsler
"This is a Rosa ball...Fat and plump."
"I don't know if I like being responsible for all you guys...But I sure do like my belt buckle!"
"Yeah, he was all like chinese lookin...and he was yellin at me in spanish..."
"Where's the poo?"
(sounding pained)"My leg isn't garbage, you stupid peice of wood!"
"Tommorrow morning you'll wake up, and you'll be dead"
"No killing people at the dinner table!"
"Boy or girl, the real winner here is Iraq"
"Hey, this is supposed to be childproof. Well, I'm a child, and it ain't proof!"
"Hang on a sec, guys. I'm losin' my adversaries...I gotta tighten my belt."
"Okay, there will be none of that, Timothy. Or should I say The Woman!"
"Hey, is that the Whattons? Let's shoot 'em!"
"I think I'll be a girl today"
-Steven R. Brailo
"I hate grammar quizzes...they make my butt itch"
"Your hands look awful. Don't you just want to put them in a blender?"
"No,no. You gotta grow your hair down to your knees, so when you run out of toilet paper..."
"Yeah, I kind of thought it had something to do with doom or death."
"She looks, um, good...I would invite her to my, uh, bathroom..."
"It's dangerous in there...You could get asked to do something!"
"The line went all the way around the building, and it didn't help that there was a van full of mexicans in front
of me who filled their van up with 39 cents worth of gas, and when the van don't start they think it's the tires...I love
"All this...watching Tim flipping makes me thirsty"
"Why am I using a boxing glove when I could use a knife?"
"It's like riding on 600 dollars...with wheels"
"Bread! Come and get your bread! It'll only cost you...your life."
"Don't be sad, just go away"
"It's time for all good boys and girls to go to bed...oh yeah, you have to go to bed now
"I'm going to the bar to eat some drunk"
"Look, there's a light on in that church! They're going to assinate me!"
"Luke, lets go to sleep; my head is popping off"
"The other day I thought about taking a bath"
- Alex G.
" 'Why can't we drive on sidewalks'...that's a dumb question...If we drive on sidewalks the cops might see us!"
- Alex G.
"You're not fat, you're just...obese!"
"If you only knew how numb my hands were, you'd say,'Oh Greg, you're going to die soon!'"
"Your face looks like a frisbee"
"This is easy...next I'll show you how to make something hard, like toast."
"Well, I think I will go spill all of your legos on accident!"
"That was more than nasty...that was nasty."
"You can't taste the cheese, I just put it in for flavor."
"You're starting to sound like yourself"
"I was gentle with that one...I only ripped it apart with my bare hands!"
" When Luke says,'Yeah, but-', it usually leads to a big dumb argument, and makes me want to hit him. Hard."
- Tim T.
"If Timmy comes over, and Megan and Becky come over, then they will chase him."
- Alex G.
"The sane adapt to their world, but the insane make their world adapt to themselves. Therefore, all progress is made
by the insane."
"When in doubt, shut up."
- Ted G.
"When in doubt, agree."
- Tim T.
"Uh, Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon? Hello? Grey poupon! Mustard!"
" Sure! I'll throw the ball down and then be stoopid!"
" He did something to me, so that means I get to do something meaner back!"
"Okay, now if a cop stops us, just pretend Luke's pregnent"
"Luke, you were ignorant tommorrow."
"You're so dumb, if you had legs, you couldn't walk!"
"I'm going to sew your mouth shut and then laugh histarically.Twice."
"What? Dad who?"
"My butt thinks it's warm in here"
"Stoopid...who wants to go to the Carribian Islands anyway?"
"Would you want a doctor to examine your butt or your head?"
"Matt Brindinger is big...REAL big, and he has hair like pastor's"
"My eyes are lopsided!"
"Wait...If I were dead, then you would have to be dead for you to kill me!"
"Luke, you gotta see what Mark found! It's...It's...A tree!"
-(Tim T., in a forest)
"Punchbuggy, white and a half! No punchbacks!"
"Cool, can I sit on it?"
"Crudentials, I'm gonna punch you in the face."